This testimony was given at a monthly reunion. "Adam" is not the resident's real name. He was invited to write out his testimony the year before, but he took his time, as he considered the vulnerability that always goes with telling the truth about yourself.
When I was a kid growing up my Dad was a thief. He taught me how to steal. Obviously he wasn’t a very good teacher. I started doing adult prison time in 1973. This is my 6th bit. I started this one in 1989.
When I first came to Lompoc back in the early 90’s I was a dope fiend, drug dealer, and a flamboyant homosexual.
This place was wide open, half the inmates were either drunk or high. There was stabbings all the time. As they say the inmates were having it their way and at the time I thought I was happy about it. Finally after about 6 years I was one of the ones to get stabbed. All behind an extortion plot that went sour.
I laid up in the hole a little over a year. After about 6 months I picked up a Bible. In the past I wouldn’t even think about going to church in prison. That was for weak people that needed a crutch. But I didn’t have nothing left to read.
As I got to reading in it I could see a lot of wisdom and discipline. I mean even without feeling the presence of the “Holy Spirit”, take away all of the religious aspects of the Bible, if a person just lived the way Jesus asks us to live, you couldn’t help but have an enjoyable life. After a few days of reading I came across a part where Jesus says “Come as you are”. I remember I laughed. I thought, boy this guy doesn’t know what he’s saying. There I was a criminal, a dope fiend, and a homosexual. In the next sentence Jesus says “I’ll change you a little at a time.”
Well I kept reading. I still had 7-8 months before my transfer anyhow. Finally I was sent to Terre Haute with the thought in mind that I was going to go to church, study the Bible and see if Jesus really could change my life.
When I hit the compound (just as scared as anybody would be of a new prison environment) I went to my unit at 2 o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon. I ran into an old friend of mine from Lompoc. I went to the cell the C.O. assigned me, unpacked, and then went to talk to my old friend.
We spoke about the usual prison things. Who got shipped here, who there and all that, and finally the issue of drugs came up. I told him I wasn’t going to be involved in drugs or none of that stuff any more and explained that I had been reading the Bible and decided I was going to see if Jesus can work in my life. He understood.
After a couple of days I moved in with him. My friend is illiterate and doesn’t speak very good English. He’s also HIV positive. We helped each other. He constantly encouraged me to read the Bible and go to church. And I read all I could about HIV in order to help him to understand what might help his health better. He became the best friend I’ve ever had in prison.
After about 5 years I was sent back to Lompoc, a completely different Lompoc, than what I left. And I came back a different person. I started attending church, and was met with encouragement and handshakes from the Christians in the church.
I know that the Holy Spirit has guided me through all of this, starting out with my being stabbed and ending up in the hole. Here in Lompoc I’ve become more open with the fact that I’ve given my life over to Jesus.
And the people that I knew from a long time back, people I hustled drugs with, drank wine with, they’ve all accepted with respect that I’ve given up my old life and have started with the new life that Jesus has given me.
The sad part about it is that the most persecution I receive comes from other Christians.
Then, on another note, the most encouragement I receive comes from other Christians.
Yes I used to be a homosexual and in prison reputations are hard to stop. If not impossible.
My Bible study teacher teaches that God forgives and then he forgets. However that’s hard for us as imperfect people to do.
Jesus has kept his promise to me. He has changed me a little at a time. Yes I’ve had my slip ups. It hasn’t been a smooth ride. But as [one of the Kairos brothers] said in his analogy of that [palm] tree out there: Jesus has stripped away a lot of the limbs of sin all the way up to the ugly dead sins that remain before you get to the beautiful top.
The answer to the question “Can God love a dope fiend, criminal homosexual enough to give that person the desire to allow Jesus to change his life away from sin that God detests?” The answer is “Yes!”. He shows it to me every day.
By the way, I was at the dental office a while back, and [looking out the window at the palm tree] I say another branch fell out of that tree. I thought perhaps the Body of Christ has shed another sin. One more that can lay in the background and collect dust.
Praise the Lord!
Thank you.