Closura Comments
by Roy Smith
Kairos #24 at USP Lompoc was one of the most noteworthy yet. Many things were different from anything in my Kairos experience of over ten years. Deacon John Burke is gone, and Father Frank has become head chaplain. There was an institutional glitch in the movements of inmates Friday night, so most were spared the insufferable tedium Friday night has to offer during any given Kairos weekend. However, Father Frank took it upon himself early Saturday morning to go around the institution personally, rousting every enlisted inmate from his bunk, insisting they all attend. Thanks to his efforts we had a good turnout. Not one dropped out after that.
Rich Antles, Sr. was rector, and, as usual, the enemy attacked him head-on before the weekend. I lost track of how often and how many of his family members wound up in hospital before his stint. I truly admire God’s strength holding up Rich Jr. during the team commissioning service Friday evening. Even as his muscles betrayed tension, his eyes displayed spiritual peace.
Avery Galbraith gallantly fielded numerous volleys of shots aimed low at his dugout in those murky trenches known as the “Valley of the Observing Rector.” We will be there with you next Kairos, Avery!
Kairos banter facilitates a glossary of terms culled from Cursillo, Walk to Emmaus, and others. We speak of Chapel Time, Vulnerability, Walls, Willingness, and Sharing. We even borrow from Greek sometimes, using terms like agape (agapé). Hopefully our lingo never comes across like some cult or clique.
We refer to first-time inmate participants on a Kairos weekend as “candidates.” We have an “outside team” of volunteers who work with an “inside team” of inmates who have previously attended Kairos weekends. During our Closing Ceremony, or “Closura,” we invite candidates to share their experiences at an open microphone. Some are eager, others reticent enough to prompt their fellows to chant there names rhythmically and persuasively until they cave in and speak into the microphone.
Some are so eager they make comments ahead of the scheduled process:
“It’s something to say Christ is counting on you. I think everyone in this room is counting on Christ! Pastor Little John told me something I took back to my unit: He told me I should be a preacher, and I said, ‘No, not me!’ But my heart leapt in my chest when he said it, so there must be something to it.”
“You made
it possible for a diversity of men to express themselves. We had men at our
table from
Rich Antles, Sr. addressed the graduating candidates:
“There’s a Bible passage that’s very meaningful to me, and I’d like to explain why. It’s Mark 4:35–41.
“ ‘On that day, when evening came, Jesus said to them, “Let us
go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd, they took Him along with them in the
boat, just as He was; and other boats were with Him. And there arose a fierce
gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat
was already filling up. Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on a cushion;
and they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You
not care that we are perishing?” And He got up and rebuked
the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it
became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still
have no faith?”
“ ‘They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then
is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?” ’
“This
passage has a great meaning to me.
“When
I was a little boy I was being raised in the Christian faith of my parents. My
father was the piano player at our evening services and the church was a huge
part of my life. I had a very close relationship with Jesus and I knew beyond
any doubt that He loved me and that I loved him too.
“A
month before my fifth birthday, we had a tragedy within our family that forever
changed my father. This tragedy caused him to be put into an institution.
“The
father that was returned to us was not the same man. He was bitter, angry and
God was never mentioned in our house again. My father felt that God had let him
down. He felt that he didn’t need or want God in his life any longer. So he
just stopped praying. Jesus never left my father – I know that now. Jesus just
said, ‘Well, I guess you feel that you can make this life journey without my
help so, I think I will grab me a pillow and take a little nap. I’ll be in the
back of your boat if you need me.’
“Without prayer and faith my father had
no spiritual direction. As our family became more and more dysfunctional and
the years began to stack up, I found myself calling on the Lord less and
relying on myself more. Eventually, I lost my faith and felt that if I were
going to survive I would have to take care of myself. Jesus could see that I
was struggling and He could only hope that my faith in Him would return. Without my faith, there was nothing he
could do but wait until I figured it out and made the choice of allowing him to run my life. So Jesus went to the back of
my boat and went to sleep.
“On Sunday night I had shared with you the fact that although I am sixty-one years old I am a fairly new Christian. In March of 2003 I went through a Kairos weekend on the outside, and on that weekend I made the Choice to renew my Friendship with God and Reopen My Door to God. I returned to the Church, entered Bible study, started grouping, and in 2005 my faith in Jesus was back. I surrendered my life to Christ, was baptized, and … The Jesus in my boat woke up and calmed the storms in my life.
“This weekend, the Jesus in your boat is awake. My prayer for you, my hope is that you will have enough faith in Jesus to allow him to stand at the helm of your boat and guide your life in the direction that He wants it to go.
“I say to each of you: Don’t let Jesus fall asleep in your boat! Pray and talk to Him. Keep Jesus in control. Let Him calm the seas of your life. God bless all of you!”
The Three Questions:
Toward the end of the Kairos three-day weekend, each Table Family is asked to respond to three basic questions:
- In what spiritual condition did you arrive at Kairos?
- What did you find when you arrived at Kairos?
- What will you take with you when you leave Kairos?
In response to the first question, candidates used a spectrum of words like: tired, crawling, reluctant, uncertain, confused, open-minded, warm, strong, and high-spirited. They also expressed their arrival conditions in short phrases: with enough faith to reveal my soul, with joy in His love, open to whatever I might receive but uncertain what I’d find, not as rich as I am now, eager to learn more, and willing to try a new walk of life.
What they found at the Kairos weekend: lots of love, many blessings, courage, support, harmony, lots of others who care, God’s love, happiness, tears of joy, Jesus, rejuvenation, passion, fellowship with believers. One man said, “For the first time in my life I learned about social interactions in Christian group discussions.”
They said they are taking with them: soldier skills (we are soldiers of God), a new dimension in Christ, love, kindness, compassion, a hunger for God, memories of the weekend, peace of mind, the strength of the Holy Spirit, blessings, new things about God, and an ability to be kinder to others. One man said, “I’m taking the good news I heard about at Kairos back to my unit.”
After one table family shared, they huddled together, came out smiling, and shouted in unison, “And we love you!”
After all table families had shared their responses to the Three Questions, one man (everyone calls him “The Preacher Man”) grabbed the microphone and challenged one of his fellow inmates to come up front. Evidently an unresolved problem existed between them. The Preacher Man said, “The Bible says, ‘How can you say you love God if you can’t love one another.’ Maybe I’m not quoting it exactly, but, anyway, my brother, I extend my hand to you. We’re not going to let Satan come between us!”
The Preacher made it clear to all of us that he and the other man were under the burden of some major conflict, but that God was unwilling to allow the rift between them to continue unreconciled. They embraced, pounded each other’s backs, and both faced us all with toothy grins. “That’s right. That’s how you handle that kind of thing. Bring it out!”
We expressed our approval. Not quietly.
An introvert from my own table was the first one up after that. “I never had much God in me till now. I’m gonna ask my brothers over here to help me from now on so I don’t get into no more trouble or nothing like that.”
The next man up said, “It’s been a year since I came to the Lord. Love is a wonderful thing. If only the world had it, it would make a big difference. Now it’s up to us to share it.”
Following are excerpts from what people said at the open microphone. I couldn’t hear well enough to quote everyone, nor could I write fast enough to quote everything, but I hope what follows will fairly represent what happened last Monday night:
“Now I have more strength to preach, to teach, and to pray. There is no greater power than that of Jesus Christ.”
“This weekend was something special. I thank God for looking down at a no-good sinner like me. It’s a free gift He’s given to me. Now I need to share it.”
“Five months ago the Lord sat my butt down and said, ‘I want to talk to you.’ He’s so alive in me now, and it’s so amazing! The last four days have affirmed that the Lord is alive! I’ve got to be on the way instead of in the way. It doesn’t make any difference if you’re out there or in here; we all create our own prisons. This is a new day for me.”
“This moment is beautiful! God bless the Lord! He puts a spark in our hearts. This moment I’ll never forget. It’s a great experience in my life. God bless you all!”
The next quote is from a member of the Inside Team, given in very broken English: “This weekend my Lord put it on my heart: You need to be with your brothers. When I come over here the first time I have a lot of problems with my family, my daughter, my ex-wife. Now I have great conversations with her. Please use Christ like the Savior He is. Don’t use Christ to make excuses.”
“For months I’ve been putting sports, movies, being sick ... everything in front of going to church. I don’t have any reasons not to go. God has saved my life many times. No matter what your situation, trust in God! This whole weekend has brought me back to God. I don’t have any excuses. I don’t have anything getting in my way. I’ll be in church next Sunday morning.”
“I came with the wrong intentions, but I’m glad I’m here. I haven’t prayed to God in sixteen years, since the Gulf War. I was in the United States Navy. Today is the first day that I’ve prayed since then.”
“I’ve been incarcerated since 1992. Some of those fellas in the back have been trying to fool me into coming to Kairos. Now I asked the fellas at my table, ‘When’s the next one?’ I should have been coming to twenty-four of them by now.”
“I feel happy.”
“My cellie invited me to come to Kairos, but I didn’t know what it was. Now I want you to all pray for him, ’cause he never showed up!”
“I know everyone here has experienced God’s love. I just want everyone to keep this fresh and share it, and we’ll have exponential growth and a chain reaction, and we’ll change the whole world.”
“I forgive myself and I’m ready to move forward for God.”
“I took a lot off my shoulders this weekend.”
“I want to tell you guys about the power of prayer I’ve experienced this weekend: I gave my heart to God about a year ago. I’ve been praying to God ever since then not to feel so all alone. I have felt all-alone since then. Now the Lord is telling me, ‘This is how you feel so not alone.’”
“My past
life and what God has done for twenty years: I heard the word of the Lord, but
I never gave my heart to Him. I heard the call, but I didn’t want to obey. I
was in prison in
A member of the inside team is selected every Kairos weekend to present the “Fourth Day” talk. Because Kairos is a three-day event, the “fourth day” represents the rest of your life.
Jeremy King, the Inside Team Leader, introduced the speaker for the Fourth Day Talk:
“When you leave here, you may have some laughs; you may have some joy, but you’ll run into some people who tell you you shouldn’t go to church, that you should watch a football game or something. Don’t listen to them. I’ve done eight Kairoses. I’ve got about another ten Kairoses to go. They happen twice a year, so do the math.
“This brother’s name is David. We call him ‘Brother Love’ because he’s full of love, and no matter who he meets, he lifts them up with the love of God.”
David took the microphone.
“The first reason I love this program is because of the cookies. No, actually that’s the third reason. The first reason is because I get to see people come to the Lord. I love to see the Lord at work.
“The second reason is the diversity of denominations. I see Catholics, Baptists, Anglicans, non-denominational churches, working together. It’s a pleasure to see them all here. It’s an honor.
“My story’s pretty much like everyone else’s here: drugs, alcohol, violence…
“I gave my life to the Lord three years ago in prison, and my life’s just gotten better and better. Do you know the story of Rachel? Jacob worked seven years so he could have Rachel, and the time seemed like only a few days to him, because he loved her. I focus on Jesus, and these three years have seemed like three days because I love Jesus.
“Love is the oil on the axle of obedience on your cart. Some people may not see me as being free, but I’m freer now than I ever was!”
David’s Fourth-Day talk might have been longer than that. It probably was. But I can only write so fast, and often as I try to listen and write, my ears overtake my pen till my hand completely stops.
Apologies and blessings!
Roy Smith